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A story about candy.

When was the last time you had Bridge Mix? You know, the chocolate-covered confections that comes in the yellow, retro-stylin’ packaging? Never? Really? Huh.

Me, I just had some the other day. I had already eaten my brown-bag – er, cloth bag – lunch but my stomach was howling for something sweet. I tried to reason with it – “You have a delicious green apple waiting upstairs at your desk” I said, trying to calm my stomach’s fervid demands.

“Feeeeeed me sweeeeeeeeeets!”

My stomach is ruthless, like a cold-blooded dictator who will stop at nothing to make her psychotic desires become reality. Sweeties: doesn’t sound like the yearnings of a madwoman, but my hips (the stomach’s voiceless enemy) tend to disagree.

Anyway, the point is that the other day I wanted something sweet after lunch, so I went to the candy store. In a sea of cheerily-wrapped candy bars, my eyes were drawn to the plain packaging of the Bridge Mix. Score!

I was excited to eat this candy that I hadn’t had in ages. It was like I held my childhood, boxed, in my hands. People were wrong – there was a way to go back to your childhood, to recapture your youth (don’t ask me why I ate these old-lady candies when I was a kid. I’m jus weird like that, I guess).

But after I tried a few of the chocolate nuggets, I realized that I didn’t like the stuff inside. Sickly sweet flavours that couldn’t possibly be natural filled my mouth like an abrasive stranger invading my personal space. Get out, get OUT! I said, and spat a gooey, chocolate-and-candy hunk to the sidewalk. I picked out the ones that I knew for sure were peanuts and offered the rest to a person experiencing homelessness who was sitting in front of the bank, asking passersby for money. He turned his nose up at them. Could I blame him? Ha!

Anyway, the point is that buying Bridge Mix the other day reminded me that in fact Goodies are the old-lady candy that I liked as a child and NOT Bridge Mix. How could I confuse them? Either way, I’ll never make that error again.